An Open Letter to the A---- AFB Golf Course Rabbits
Dear Rabbits of the Golf Course,
First off, thank you for your time and consideration in this matter. I know you have many more important things to do like making more babies for your already expansive brood. I want to clarify that I in no way mean this disrespectfully and that I have no desire to impinge upon your rights or your freedoms; I merely come to you with a simple request that I hope will be looked upon smilingly.
Here is what I propose. Should you, in the midst of your frolicking, see myself, my blue and black stroller, and my black and brown yappy dog walking close to your territory, would you please pause in your excursions and lie low beneath yon nearby sapling until we have passed by? Of course, this only applies if you see all three of us together. If it's just one of us--and certainly, if it's only the stroller--meandering through the paths of the golf course, by all means, continue in your rollicking adventures, but should you happen upon all three of us, I'd like to ask for a little grace. You see, at seven months pregnant, it's getting a little difficult to bodily hoist my howling, kicking, 30 pound dog into the air (while still pushing the stroller) in order to dissuade him from chasing what, in his mind, are merely rabbit shaped plates of dog food running around on spritely legs. I've tried, valiantly, to explain to him that you are just happy souls trying to make your way in the world like the rest of us, but there seems to be some kind of disconnect...
Once again, I realize how tempting it must be to continue in your games of hide and seek when the weather is as freshly cold and clear as it was today, but, please, for the sake of me and my unborn child, would you at least try to avoid tantalizing my aforementioned canine with your juicy haunches and mouth-watering scent?
Most sincerely yours,
etc.
First off, thank you for your time and consideration in this matter. I know you have many more important things to do like making more babies for your already expansive brood. I want to clarify that I in no way mean this disrespectfully and that I have no desire to impinge upon your rights or your freedoms; I merely come to you with a simple request that I hope will be looked upon smilingly.
Here is what I propose. Should you, in the midst of your frolicking, see myself, my blue and black stroller, and my black and brown yappy dog walking close to your territory, would you please pause in your excursions and lie low beneath yon nearby sapling until we have passed by? Of course, this only applies if you see all three of us together. If it's just one of us--and certainly, if it's only the stroller--meandering through the paths of the golf course, by all means, continue in your rollicking adventures, but should you happen upon all three of us, I'd like to ask for a little grace. You see, at seven months pregnant, it's getting a little difficult to bodily hoist my howling, kicking, 30 pound dog into the air (while still pushing the stroller) in order to dissuade him from chasing what, in his mind, are merely rabbit shaped plates of dog food running around on spritely legs. I've tried, valiantly, to explain to him that you are just happy souls trying to make your way in the world like the rest of us, but there seems to be some kind of disconnect...
Once again, I realize how tempting it must be to continue in your games of hide and seek when the weather is as freshly cold and clear as it was today, but, please, for the sake of me and my unborn child, would you at least try to avoid tantalizing my aforementioned canine with your juicy haunches and mouth-watering scent?
Most sincerely yours,
etc.
