I Have Problems

• Yesterday afternoon I discovered that my son had been wearing his shorts backwards all day long. At the commissary. At the dry cleaner. All day. And unfortunately, he's only two so he's not dressing himself yet.
• Littles had a massive dump Monday while we were at the dentist. They didn't have any trash cans available, so, being the incredible mother I am, I wrapped up the diaper so that there was no chance of leakage (I'm very good at this), and tucked it into the side pocket of the diaper bag to be disposed of when we got home. I found it two days later. My diaper bag smells like poop. And I think some of it managed to seep out, so I must not be as incredible as I thought. Disappointment all around.
• This morning my neighbor came out to water his grass before work and discovered me in my backyard flapping my arms and doing a little squat dance while yelling at the dog. After he recovered from his uncontrollable laughter long enough to ask me what in the world I was doing, I explained that I was protecting a baby bird from Trigger. I'd seen the parent birds dive-bombing Trigs and come out to investigate and be a regular boy scout. I managed to save little bird from the Trigs and herd him out of the yard through the fence after I had originally given him a very touching eulogy in the presence of Littles. That poor child is going to have major psychological problems. Incidentally, he now refers to the dog as "Triggy".
• In a glow of wifely service, I took the Man's blues to the dry cleaner. Two hours later he calls and asks me to throw them in the washer. Expecting loud applause, several pats on the back, and most definitely warm gratitude for how awesome I am, I tell him that they're already at the dry cleaner (that's right: you forgot, and I took care of it for you... I know... you don't deserve me...). There's an awkward pause on the other end of the phone and then the fateful words: I need them tomorrow morning. Yeah, well, that's not going to happen considering that "tomorrow" is Thursday and the lady said they wouldn't be done til Friday at 2pm. 

Always fun to make fun of myself. Guess I'll go grab my bluegrass dancing son (he's got a little jig going on--that's what I get for playing Nickel Creek and Alison Kraus during breakfast) and bring on today in style!