Para-Para-Paranoid!
The other day I confessed to my sister that I entertain myself during the day by playing the "What would I do if I went into labour right NOW!" game (also known as the "What would I do if my water broke right NOW!" game). It's terribly entertaining. I'm a self-confessed plan junkie, so you can understand why I get such a kick out of this. Besides which, there just aren't that many entertainment options while on bed rest, other than cheesy Christmas movies, of course.
Anyway, so I told Amanda that this is how I keep my thought life active and ward off the potential take over of pregnancy brain. She countered by saying that she frequently plays the "What would I do if I got attacked right NOW!" game. Essentially, these are the same thing. Having a baby (or two) is pretty much equivalent to being attacked. Once again, I realize that my sister and I are pretty much exactly the same person. Except for the short/tall thing, the single/married thing, the no kids/kids thing, the Africa/rural Oklahoma thing, and a few other…things.
At any rate, while the practical side of me hopes I make it to my scheduled c-section date, the part of me that loves a good story imagines me saying, "So, I was singing 'Father Abraham' with the boys before bed, and…" Because how funny would it be if my bed rest version of "Father Abraham" (which is quite an entertaining sight, let me tell you) was the final straw that broke the water's sack (or the camel's back)? Yes, I know. Not funny to anyone but me. And possibly my dad who passed on his penchant for punny jokes.
Other things that I am imagining these days: both twins coming out female and breaking that news to the Man over Skype, my belly literally splitting open, and how nice it's going to be to finally cut my toe nails and shave my legs (I have really great friends here, but there are limits…). Obviously some of these things are more likely to happen than others. As in: I'm pretty sure we can trust the results of the twenty gazillion ultrasounds I've had, and I'm pretty sure it's scientifically impossible for the twins to rip their way out of me (since, as far as I know, they are not half-vampire). Still, all this paranoia is keeping me thoroughly entertained!
And so I wanted to share.
I will also share this picture of me finishing out week 34 like a boss. And yes, on those rare occasions I do get out of the house, I'm getting some massive double takes.
Anyway, so I told Amanda that this is how I keep my thought life active and ward off the potential take over of pregnancy brain. She countered by saying that she frequently plays the "What would I do if I got attacked right NOW!" game. Essentially, these are the same thing. Having a baby (or two) is pretty much equivalent to being attacked. Once again, I realize that my sister and I are pretty much exactly the same person. Except for the short/tall thing, the single/married thing, the no kids/kids thing, the Africa/rural Oklahoma thing, and a few other…things.
At any rate, while the practical side of me hopes I make it to my scheduled c-section date, the part of me that loves a good story imagines me saying, "So, I was singing 'Father Abraham' with the boys before bed, and…" Because how funny would it be if my bed rest version of "Father Abraham" (which is quite an entertaining sight, let me tell you) was the final straw that broke the water's sack (or the camel's back)? Yes, I know. Not funny to anyone but me. And possibly my dad who passed on his penchant for punny jokes.
Other things that I am imagining these days: both twins coming out female and breaking that news to the Man over Skype, my belly literally splitting open, and how nice it's going to be to finally cut my toe nails and shave my legs (I have really great friends here, but there are limits…). Obviously some of these things are more likely to happen than others. As in: I'm pretty sure we can trust the results of the twenty gazillion ultrasounds I've had, and I'm pretty sure it's scientifically impossible for the twins to rip their way out of me (since, as far as I know, they are not half-vampire). Still, all this paranoia is keeping me thoroughly entertained!
And so I wanted to share.
I will also share this picture of me finishing out week 34 like a boss. And yes, on those rare occasions I do get out of the house, I'm getting some massive double takes.
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| Shirt courtesy of my former partner in pregnancy who deserted me for a cute baby 4 weeks ago. |
