A Different Way to See (Part Two)
Yesterday we sat with the idea that what we think we know about something can get in the way of actually seeing (or hearing) well.
The more I thought about this, though, the more I realized that this doesn’t apply just to our circumstances or to those around us: it also applies to how we see ourselves.
Tuesday, in a fit of hubris and laughter, I posted Eugenides’ infamous quote from Megan Whalen Turner’s The Thief, “I can do anything I want!” I was a little high off the power of replacing a toilet seat all on my own, I admit. But you should know that within three hours, I was sitting in the kitchen floor with tears slipping down my face because we were out of coconut milk and I had convinced myself that making Indonesian food was the exact right thing for me to do for the Man, who has been stuck on the couch for a week post surgery.
As I sat there, utterly exhausted, spent, discouraged (in spite of the fact that I’d slept in an extra hour that morning and spent over an hour just sitting in the sunshine on the back porch), the Man texted me from the living room (being a proactive problem solver) to remind me that it was okay and that—shocker—I’m human.
It wasn’t immediately effective. I’m much more prone to see myself as a failure than I am to see myself as normal. Thank God for people around me who speak truth and remind me that our reality is not warped and one dimensional, much like yesterday’s childish drawing. This enables me to set aside what I think I know about myself (I’m a total failure for not having coconut milk) so that I can see what is closer to truth (I’m a human who can’t do all the things all the time and be all the things for all the people).
Recently, my mother shared 1 Corinthians 8:2 (ESV) with me:
If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know.
We think we know ourselves. We think we have a pretty good grasp on our family and friends and our neighbors and our world. We think we understand what’s going on around us and why. But the truth is: we’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg. We’re seeing what we think we know. And sometimes that really gets in the way.
But there is good news. The following verse goes on to say:
But if anyone loves God, he is known by God.
We may not see ourselves fully, but Someone does. We may see only a shadow of the truth about those around us, but there is Someone who can open our eyes to understand more fully. We may not get what is happening around us or why, but the One who loves us and knows us is still fully with us.
This is one of those truths that leaves me with a lot of questions, the most obvious one being of course: what am I firmly convinced I know that I don’t really know?
It also leaves me with a lot to pray about.
And that’s not a bad thing.
