Hospital Reads

I have decided recently that there is an art to packing the right books for a hospital stay. This has been on my mind as the Man recently landed himself overnight in the hospital. He’s recovering nicely—thanks for asking.

Anyway, looking for books for him to read while he was confined to a hospital bed was more challenging than I anticipated. There are a couple basic problems that must be factored in when choosing a good hospital read:

First, the reader feels miserable. If they didn’t feel horrid, they wouldn’t be at the hospital. Unfortunately, feeling like death warmed over (or like you’ve been hit by a truck or like a squashed bug, pick your simile) does not lend itself to higher levels of concentration. Whatever the reader picks up has to be engaging enough to hold their attention and entertaining enough to distract from their reality.

Second, the reader will be constantly interrupted by beeping hospital machines, helpful nurses, and harried doctors. Hospital reads have to be picked up and put down, and no, you should not use your IV as a bookmark. Ouch.

Because of those two prerequisites, I should’ve known better than to try to talk the Man into reading Still Life by Louise Penny (you don’t want to put it down and it does require some brain space). It’s just that I want him to love Chief Inspector Gamache so badly. But…I should’ve known better. Since I made poor book suggestions, the Man instead got all the nurses’ life stories and watched a lot of reruns of The Office. Possibly related side note: the Man is an excellent patient and the nurses were sad when he left.

On the whole, I have found a few reliable hospital reads for me but I recognize that these choices can be highly individual. Not everyone has the same hospital read needs. For me: I like rereads. And I like books with short chapters (pick up, put down) And I like lighter weight reads that don’t require intense concentration (this is not the time for Joyce or Dickens…in all honesty, it’s probably not even the time for Austen, even if it hurts me to say so—some may argue it’s never the time for Joyce, and they might not be wrong).

I do always recommend 84 Charing Cross. It’s an epistolary novel (short chapters), and the plot does not include any intense cliff hangers. If you need to take a nap, 84 Charing Cross is not going to have you lying awake pondering the deep questions or possible plot twists, but it will keep you engaged when you want to forget about the fact that you’re uneasily worried about those blood test results.

Additionally, I strongly encourage the reading of good children’s fiction while stuck at the hospital. The Penderwicks are an easy win as are The Vanderbeekers, and The Benedict Society got me through a post-surgery overnight back before Twinkle came on the scene. Although, maybe pre-screen some of the material. No one wants to read about cancer while they’re in the hospital.

Fine, some people might want to read about cancer while they’re in the hospital, but I’m not sure if we can trust those people.

The James Herriot is the only book on that shelf that I’d read at the hospital.

Now, I know there’s at least one person saying, “What about reading something inspirational and spiritually encouraging while you’re at the hospital?” I want to give you the Right Answer here, but the truth is that when I’m stuck at the hospital, my brain cannot function on anything more than the Psalms and survival. And if I pray for too long, I start circling the drain of my mind. But here’s the great thing: this blog gets read by awesome people who are much better at life than I am, so maybe one of them will put some additional hospital reading suggestions in the comment section!

Audience participation! I love it!

Anyway, if you happen to be in the hospital and looking for a book to read to pass the time, here is your permission to not tackle War and Peace. Lightweight reads can be your friend. The nurses aren’t judging you: they’re just jealous you’re sitting down.

But if you need to bring along a copy of Atlas Shrugged to make yourself feel good about yourself, you do you. Also, who knows when you’ll need an available weapon. 90% of the cop shows I watch with the Man have at least one shoot out in a hospital, so Atlas Shrugged could really come in handy. Just pretend you’re in a coma and then wing the book at the shooter.

Anyway, this is the end of my super informative blog post. Hospital reads: they’re what I’m thinking about. Last minute additions that might really do it for you: L. M. Montgomery, Robin McKinley, Madeleine L’Engle, you know: the classics that never grow old. Or, in a pinch: The Lunar Chronicles, Percy Jackson, or The Goose Girl and its sequels. Also, Harry Potter, but maybe don’t accidentally order the Scottish version like I did this week. (Mr and Mrs Dursley, o nummer fower, Privet Loan, were prood tae say that they were gey normal, thank ye verra much.)

In case you thought I was joking.

But feel free to ignore all those suggestions, of course, if you happen to be one of those superior humans who can actually focus on Literature with a Capital L when they have a needle jammed into their arm and a hospital ID bracelet cutting off their circulation.

And on that note, what are your favorite hospital read suggestions? Sharing is caring, people.