Stress Response

We will pause here a moment in our usually scheduled program to talk about some of the ways that we respond to stress. Why? Because—at long last—I’ve succumbed to the realization that the stress factor is in place at this point, whether I want it or not (and whether I feel like it or not)…but also because some of our stress responses are just plain funny…and probably revealing of who we are in deep and unfortunate ways.

If you’re wondering about the cause of the stress in our lives, I’ll give you a few words worth of run down: impending move, half of the parental party still not capable of walking, closing out the school year, unsold RV, and generally: all the things.

Now, to be honest, I don’t really feel stressed. We’ve been doing the whole One Legged Husband thing off and on since November. I’m not saying it’s our New Normal, but I’m also not saying it’s not.

As to moving: this is old hat. We’re nearing double digits with our number of moves (we’ve reached double digits if you count our first four months in TX and a three month evacuation for a hurricane), so I know realistically that the move will get done and that, while things will be lost and broken, all the people and most likely all the pets will be settled into our new home in CA come July.

But here’s the thing, often when we don’t necessarily feel stressed, our body is going into overdrive telling us that THINGS ARE NOT OKAY (I feel like I already wrote about this), which leaves you with back to back ER visits with a perfectly calm, rational, well-balanced child who, it turns out, had a bad case of what the doctor assumes is stress-induced constipation.

So, yeah, that’s one way of dealing with it. On the other hand, there’s the child who decided it would be a good idea to take a pair of scissors to her hair, hide the chopped pieces in her bed, and wait to see how long it took Mommy to notice. Unfortunately for my attempt to apply natural consequences, the clean up haircut I gave her looks really cute.

The same child purposefully hid her math book in the closet and had the entire family looking all over the house for it for two full hours. Evidently, being informed that it was crunch time if she wanted to finish her math before we pack for CA was more than her sanity could handle.

Meanwhile, a different kid determined that she has a future as a tattoo artist and is drawing on herself with markers every time I turn around. She blames her daddy for the inspiration.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, one of the boys decided that now is a good time to train for a marathon. If I’m not taking him running with me in the mornings, he’s running dozens of loops of the yard until he gets dizzy enough to get back to terrorizing his siblings. So, again, not all stress responses are bad, but, in general, there has been a massive uptick in grousing, in-fighting, stress-reading, and snuggle-wars. That applies to all of us, not just the kids.

Then there’s my husband. Because he can’t get up and do much, he’s dealing with his stress level by planning every minute detail of the move, booking and scheduling all the things possible, He gets points for having positive stress responses that benefit me. He’s also managed to, against all reason, figure out a way to work out with his foot propped up. Why he is motivated to do this when he has a legitimate reason to lie around like a bump on a log is beyond me. It possibly stems from the same line of rationale that had him measuring calf sizes with our 11 year old, convinced that his was wasting away until Littles’ was bigger. His most frequent stress response, however, is to check to make sure I’ve not completely crossed the line into crazy…

…because I am, naturally, joining the kids in stress-reading, while also drinking an obscene amount of coffee, trying to keep all the plates spinning (except for the ones my husband is methodically taking care of from his pillow stack of recovery), and making healthy choices like eating cookies for lunch. They had oatmeal in them, so I feel like things could’ve been worse. Oh, and making lists for my lists, which is evidently a stress trait shared by my oldest sister (who also likes to lay awake for hours at night trying to remember if she closed the garage door or if there will be another skunk playing with the pogo stick in the morning).

Side note: the other sister’s stress response is to take cool trips and eat her weight in gummy bears. We all do what we’ve got to do.

All of that to say, there is a lot keeping us on our toes here, and we are all dealing with it in one way or another, some of us in healthy ways, and some of us by considering selling the children to gypsies. But really: it’s all part of the show, kids!