Instead of Writing

Evidently, I took off blogging for Lent (and then some). It’s interesting how sometimes you end up with a complete change in schedule without any conscious desire to do so. But today, in an effort to get myself back on the bus and to give you a window into the last few weeks, I bring you a post on what I’ve been up to instead of blogging.

Instead of writing, I’ve been wrapping up our co-op semester. I have three more classes to teach (one high school art class and two more mornings with the seventh graders), and the closure has been on the emotional side. It’s been an exhausting school year but so good. I’m already mourning the loss of these kids and their moms, mourning the close of this season of community, but also rejoicing that our family had these two years. And I’m also feeling a sense of relief that I survived this self-imposed teaching schedule. It’s been great, but it’s also been a lot.

Instead of writing, I’ve been trying to prep for the move. This means, taking the pets to the vet, doing last minute doctor’s appointments, talking to movers, lots of phone calls ironing out details, lots of time googling stuff at our next base, and lots of waiting. Plans change, and we change with them. Kids need to process, and whatever I’m doing gets put on pause so that I can hold them while they cry.

This last one is what takes the most time, and it’s also the one that I will never regret sacrificing my schedule for.

Instead of writing, I haven’t been running. I jacked up my knee back in February, and the doctor put me on a strict “Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate” schedule. Unfortunately, because I’m not very good at the rest aspect, what that’s mostly meant is no running and a very long period of waiting for healing.

Instead of writing, I’ve been cooking and praying and folding laundry and taking pictures of the desert in bloom and reading books when I need a break from my reality and sitting listening to others and making up beds and making my children laugh and making sure that the important things don't slip through the cracks.

I’ve been followed around the house by a dog who keeps bashing his cone of shame into me. (Don’t ask why he has it; you don’t want to know.) I’ve been cuddled by purring cats. I’ve been squeezing in quality time with friends before they leave and before I leave. I’ve been looking around the house trying to figure out what to get rid of and what to keep.

I’ve been going to parties and making lists and preparing the kids for a piano recital and putting on end of year celebrations and scheduling haircuts and playing chauffeur and weathering the never ending cycle of sick kids (because stress is exhausting and bad for the immune system, and even if you move on a regular basis, moving is still stressful).

I’ve been doing editing work and thinking about queries.

I’ve been burning up the candles that won’t get moved and thinking about what plants are going to make the cut for a cross country road trip.

I’ve been forgetting to put out the Easter decorations and then forgetting to put them away.

I’ve been talking with my husband about what time and energy and money needs to go where.

Instead of writing, I’ve been thinking about writing, what I would want to say to you guys if I wasn’t trying so very hard to be present and to be productive and to prioritize the stability (such as it is) of the family right now.

There’s a lot of other things that I want to write, but this morning I promised the kids donuts and clothes shopping (because they won’t stop growing) and grocery pick up before we then prioritize a ridiculously huge family project I’ve been procrastinating on for the last three weeks that is now due on Friday. Weak yay.

And because I’ve been reading Ecclesiastes lately, I’ll close with this. The end of the matter: for everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.

In other words: there is limited time in every day, and I cannot do all the things all the time, but I can do what God has set in front of me, day by day, moment by moment, child by child, word by word.

And the blog will still be there at the end of this season.