Unexpected

When we drove onto our current base for the first time, the Man called me from his truck just to check on me and make sure I wasn’t having a panic attack. See, this man knows me: I love green and rain and water—three things that are not easily found in a desert. So, he called to make sure I wasn’t preparing to do a u-turn and leave him here by himself for the next two years, while I took the kids and went in search of hydration.

Imagine his surprise when I told him how beautiful I found this desert. In fact, I believe his exact words were, “Who are you, and what have you done with my wife?” My love for the desert was unexpected…for both of us, to say the least.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the unexpected this week. I walked into our bathroom a couple days ago and tripped over my daughter’s shoes and a stack of books she’d left behind. That wasn’t unexpected.

My chive plant bloomed purple. That was.

The Little Man accidentally busted the screen door again. That wasn’t unexpected (pre-teen boys are like juggernauts).

I got pretty much no writing done last week. That was unexpected and also discouraging.

I forced myself through all my workouts last week even though my body kept trying to do a really great impression of a noodle crossed with a sloth—not unexpected.

I actually enjoyed the resistance workouts I’m forcing myself to add, and I managed to run eight miles at my pre-Covid pace on Saturday—both things unexpected in really good ways.

But the unexpected that took the cake this week was news that a civilian friend was moving…within the month. Moves are expected, but these days I also expect to have what I refer to as the PCS build up, the “We’re probably moving in so many months…we’re definitely moving in so many weeks…the movers are coming in so many days…”. By the time my friends leave, I’m so prepared that, though I miss them, the punch in the gut has been taken out of the equation.

Somehow, my expectations being met makes me feel like I have some measure of control over things, even though I know that is ridiculous. If it worked that way, we would have a world full of people actively forcing themselves to expect the best as a way to shape reality. And that’s not at all what we see.

Instead, most of us expect the worst, hoping to either be prepared or be pleasantly surprised. None of us want to be disappointed. And also, most of us have been warned—in this world we will have trouble. It’s right there in John 16:33. But we forget the second part of the verse:

“But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We can expect trouble in this world, but we can also expect a victory at the end. We need to have zero expectations about how God is going to get us there (remember how His ways aren’t our ways and His thoughts aren’t our thoughts?), but we can trust that our expectation of His victory will never be disappointed.

Then, there are a few other things we can expect too. First, we can expect that God Himself won’t change. His character is consistent and unchanging, which means that when He tells us something about Himself, that’s something we can trust. It also means that the promises He gives us will be kept.

He’s not going to go through any midlife crises or sudden urges to find Himself. He’s not going to suddenly change His mind. Who He is is who He will forever be, and so when He gives us promises, we can trust what He says. He is good, and He does good, and He will always be good.

Second, we can expect that no matter what happens, He will always be with us. He’s promised this, and because we know He keeps His promises (see above), we can trust that His presence is something we can count on. We can expect Him to be with us—always—even if we can’t feel His presence, even when it seems like the crap is hitting the fan.

Third, we can expect Him to be working for our growth. He’s promised that He’s going to complete the good work He began in us, and if He said it He meant it (see above….again). So no matter what struggle or suffering or heartache or frustration, we can expect our growth if we can entrust ourselves to His plan.

These three things we can expect and know (know) we aren’t going to be disappointed even as we wait for a forever victory we’re not necessarily going to see in this life. We’re not going to have the rug pulled out from under our feet. We’re not going to be unpleasantly surprised.

And in the meantime, we’ll continue going about our every day finding the expected (trashed rooms, morning hugs, thrown off schedules) and the unexpected (an actual lemon on the lemon tree, lizards skittering across my path while I run, bad news from a friend, a perfect crisped pot sticker melting in my mouth), knowing that our ability to anticipate what’s coming says nothing about our ability to deal with it, and resting in the truth of an unchanging God who is with us and for us.

Tomorrow, the Man and I are going to see another doctor about the Man’s foot. We don’t know what to expect. Will this be another doctor who won’t listen to us or another doctor who can’t help us? Will this be the answer to prayer we’ve been hoping for for over a year now? Will this be a waste of time and gas? We don’t know.

But this is what we do know: our good God has not forgotten my husband. He’s going to be with us as we drive, as we wait in the waiting room, as we talk with the doctor. And whatever we learn or don’t learn tomorrow, God is purposing to use it to grow the Man and me more and more into the image of His Son.

Those are expectations that will be fully met…because God’s goodness is never unexpected.